The Malaysian Forestry Department has offered to allow people into the protected Endau Rompin park to search for the Malaysian version of Bigfoot (or “le pied grand” as it is known in France.) Not surprisingly, there have been no takers. The Malaysian people are known the world over as short, scared people who would just as soon stay indoors watching television than plunge into the boreal forests of Malaysia looking for a gigantic creature that may or may not rend them limb from limb.
Boon Hocklington, a crypto-biologist from MIT, states the Malaysian Forestry Departments obsession with Bigfoot (or “der grosse Fuß” as it is known in Germany) has surged recently as “they have run out of other creatures to be obsessed about. In the early 60’s, some drunk Malay in a dugout canoe thought he saw a sea-serpent and the next day the Malaysian Coast Guard was offering free machetes and Coca Cola for people to go find one. In 1979 an accountant from Kuala Lampur thought he witnessed Howard Hughes hooking up with a prostitute and the next day the local constabulary were all walking around in Tyvek suits with Kleenex boxes on their feet.”
Interest was ignited last fall when fish-farm workers reported seeing three giant human-like creatures and one giant footprint in the park. Park officials responded to the site, but found no evidence of any such creature. But, then, more sightings were reported by native villagers. When Forestry officials arrived on scene they again found no evidence but did find a lot of native villagers snickering. Malaysian officials are now starting to think that maybe Bigfoot (or “el pie grande” in Spanish) maybe nothing more than the sarcastic musings of people with mind altering drugs and too much free time.
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