Boca Raton, Florida
Just in time to trump baseballs' spring training, MacDonald's and Burger King have teamed together with the makers of Maalox and the portable stomach pump and ESPN to bring "Major League Eating" to your home.
Spokesman Jean-Guy Fornicateur said in a statement, "We at Major League Eating are proud to turn what most Americans do of their own free will, mainly overeating into a simulating and spirited competition."
When asked about the possible health side-effects Fornicateur said, "Well when you here about someone showing up at spring training overweight and out of shape it's usually followed by that person's drive to succeed is brought into question whereas in MLE those things identify that individual as a premier competitor." After Fornicateur's short speech a bus showed up at the press conference and Lebron Aneurysm, pictured above, stepped off to wild applause from fans and the media. Aneurysm then gave a demonstration of the kind of action that people will soon be experiencing.
Sitting at a table and donning his protective headgear, Aneurysm was given a large over sized novelty cheeseburger that he demolished in under 30 seconds. A few seconds of stunned and disturbed silence was quickly replaced by admiring applause. Indeed more than one person was overheard to state their willingness to join the league for fame and glory.
Fornicateur then went on to state that although the League will start on a modest budget and travel between cities on the eastern seaboard he anticipates a time when the MLE will span across the country and possibly into Europe and Asia as well, "Italy and Germany offer then kind of food variety that would appeal to most competitors and we know that they have got their own home grown talent grooming for competition. Japan is definitely an option for us as we know their fondness for the bizarre. I can see this being an Olympic event someday."
