1) Everyone remembers the first time they shaved their first cat. The screaming, the hair flying, the scratches; ahh good times. Tim grabbed Fluffy and stalked towards the bathroom, grabbing the clippers as he went. Fluffy stayed strangely calm, either not knowing what cruel fate awaited her or just not caring any more. Fortunately for her Tim fell into an open manhole that wasn't there just a few moments ago. Fluffy escaped unharmed; Tim, on the other hand fractured both femurs and ankles, had a crack in his cranium and a runny nose to boot. Bad day for Tim, good day for Fluffy.
2) Ice cream is good especially with pie. Ice cream on it's own is okay as is pie. But together ice cream and pie are spectacular. Peanut Butter and chocolate are spectacular too, as is cheeze whiz and bologna (baloney to those who don't know Italian) but the best ever is ice cream and pie. That's why I became a monk. For the pie and ice cream.
3) Stream of consciousness time. One long run-on sentence. Here we go. I got nothin.
4) Four.
5) So I'm riding home on the subway when I look across the aisle and see one of my fellow passengers is a blue whale, the largest mammal on the planet. I immediately get curious about several things; how did she get this far inland from the ocean, how did she get onto the subway car and why didn't she finish the ham sandwich she bought from the consierge? I leaned over to try and engage her in conversation but she was having none of it. An upscale blue whale like her wouldn't have anything to do with a blue-collar shlub like me. My stop arrived and I got off. The subway moved off and I never saw her again, but I'd stole her sandwich.
1 comment:
1. Few things are as unappealing as an unshaven cat.
2. Bologna and leopard urine makes for a splendidly tangy torte.
3. Eleventeen.
4. You is correct.
5. Whale oil beef hooked.
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